So between Friday last week and this Monday pretty much everything in my life has done a monumental 180-degree turnaround.
Last week I was so sure that my future was going to be tied to a business I have been helping build over the last two years .. today I am out on my own again.
But actually – I am surprisingly OK with the decision .. always easier when it’s a decision that you have made for yourself. .. am I right?
So first of all let me get the whinge out of the way!
In the previous business, I had reached the stage of utter and complete frustration with the whole process – with the restrictions being put in place every time I bootstrapped the business right to the point of becoming a revenue-generating machine. I was ground down by being in a place where there were “So many chiefs and not enough Indians” and when I actually caught myself on hold to the UK Tax Authorities sorting out some fairly routine process I realised something pretty profound!
I AM THE MIND MAPPING EXPERT!!
..and I was being asked to do tasks that were not the highly leveraged tasks that drive a business forward but the basic administration so that some of the men in the business could pretend they were building a business. Four times we nearly launched that business .. and four times all the months of work, strategy, and planning were cut off at the knees just as we were about to go live.
So over the weekend, a decision was reached .. enough is enough!
I am fed up being a super-stressed Mum .. lockdown with two boys with a mother who is begging favours and trading skills with others just to leverage someone else’s business .. and being treated pretty poorly to boot .. is not something I wish them to model. I AM TOO DAMN SMART TO BE THIS DAMN BROKE!
And in recognising that I am happy to acknowledge my part in putting myself into the situation:
- I have been too accomodating .. too happy to take on tasks that need to be done simply because there was no-one else to do them.
- I have been unclear at setting out my own boundaries – so I can hardly complain that they were completely trampled on and disregarded.
- I allowed myself to be ground down – to a position where I was actually waiting for permission to demonstrate my own fecking actual genius because it would upset another colleague in the business.
- I allowed myself to play small – because of threats of lawsuits and the knowledge that I had precious little chance of being backed up by my colleagues.
- I allowed myself to be personally humiliated on a global stage, in front of colleagues of many years because one man was culturally unable to accept a woman in any position of authority.
Enough – enough is totally enough!
So this weekend .. I packed that business up .. I put it in boxes and this week it will be returning kit and kaboodle to be someone else’s responsibility.
And today begins the process of digging myself out of this hole I have let myself be tossed into. Unpicking the part that I have played in creating such a dysfunctional and unsatisfying working life.. and there is a lot to unpick here!
This is a process of deep reflection – of analysing why I would make the choices that I did and healing my heart so that I never make those mistakes ever again.
It’s also the process of declaring that I welcome a successful life. By creating my own business once again I can take all the risks and reap all of the rewards without the unrealistic expectations of others being made upon me.
I am World Class at what I do,. When people work with me their lives are changed! I create transformations and help people step out and live their biggest dreams with grace and elegance …. it’s about time I modeled this excellence for my boys instead.
So with your permission – and with your blessing, please join me over the next 100 days whilst I reinvent myself at the age of 51 back into that brave, dynamic, talented, insightful, and the financially successful woman I was before the aborted detour of the last couple of years!
I AM THE MIND MAPPING EXPERT – I am the Five Times World Champion, I write books, create transformational events and speak to the truth that everyone can learn the skills that can enable them to live the life of their dreams if they are committed and supported to do so.
One Hundred Days ….
A 100% all-in committment
with you walking right alongside me …….
Who is in?
If you’d like to follow along with the ups and downs, the ins and outs of the next 100 days .. hop over to the private Facebook page where I will share it all (warts and all)